against the voices.

guys, I'm not really sure what I'm about to write but it's probably going to sound
like I need to be tested for a mental disorder.. so here goes.

do you ever hear voices?


do this. be that. talk more like this. don't feel that way. DOTHISBETHATDON'TDOTHATBELIKETHIS.


..that's how it sounds in my head.
every day.
voices, yelling.
beckoning, screaming for attention.
preconceived notions, flat out lies, hopeful assumptions, & so much more.





sometimes I wonder how many of those voices sound like
advice I shouldn't take, articles I shouldn't read, thoughts I shouldn't dwell on,
and honestly.. social media that I need to limit (Lord Jesus, help me!).


have we all but forgotten the need to tune out every once in a while
and take a really close look at what we're thinking about?
our sources of information?
how do we form our opinions?
our thinking patterns? even our worldview?

once again, more questions to be answered. blah blah blah blah blah.


so what does it boil down to? where is the resolve? root of the problem, people.


there is a singular voice of Truth that's more than a Casting Crowns song.
He lives in the sixty-six-book divine letter that sits on my shelf 75% of the time.

(can I just be painfully honest here and say that I DON'T always get it right?
I fight against these voices. I don't read my Bible enough. I struggle with prayer.
thank God for His beautiful grace and conviction that simultaneously
calls me to change that and gives the strength to do it.
that's what I consider a win-win situation.)

how clear is that voice when we know Who it belongs to.
although, a little disclaimer:
sometimes God's voice is hard to hear,
and sometimes He chooses to remain silent.
(but that's a different discussion for a different time.)



so, do you hear all those nagging voices now?
the ones pulling you in every direction but north?
I know I can.
better yet: do you know the voice of Jesus when He speaks?

-b

nostalgia + more

the past creeps up on me, slowly sometimes, or instead all at once.
the good, the bad, the really good, and the really bad.

it seems like a waste, to keep going back to a time that is non-existent.
if there's no benefit to draw from it, no new lesson to be learned.. why?
yet to me, it's incredible that we even have a memory.
a little storage compartment.
to be able to recall how I felt, how it changed me, how I feel about it now.
my memory is like a box kept under lock & key,
containing precious things and moments that matter only to me.

but is it only me? do other people feel this same way?
if these things were to all perish, which one day in the future they will,
would someone else care? would they miss those moments?
the things and time we shared?

I think they would. and to me, that matters.


I wish I could relive many times in my life,
replay them somehow with the people who care about them.

I live for the moments that I look at someone's face and can see
they just put a moment in that little storage compartment.
they'll find the key to that box in a smell, an image, a person.
maybe even a song.
I live. for. that.


I don't know why it's so important to me.
it's not like I want to live my life so that in the end,
I'll possess some mental filing cabinet full of things that aren't eternal. no.

but I'm starting to believe that those little things are glimpses of the eternal,
the things that will never pass away or perish or be forgotten.

I want to hold on to those glimpses for as long as needed.
to see what they can show me.

the glory of God is inside of those moments.
because God is in every moment.
I can now see Him in every laugh, every star, and every person.
He is in everything and He is everything.
He is so much more than we know or can see.
He goes beyond these moments, into a place where time is no more
and these amazing, nostalgic, God-given moments
fade away in comparison to Him.


I see things the way that I do because that is how He made me,
and every one else. for the sole purpose of glorifying Him.
my prayer is that we would have our eyes opened to these glorious things,
to the glorious God who created them and loves and saves.


-b