"timing is everything."

one word that I have a continued love/hate relationship with: time. 

there's so many quotes, clichés, and metaphors about how quickly 
it passes or how it heals all wounds.

the third chapter of Ecclesiastes reminds me that
"for everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." (v.1)

just like the flowers bloom in the spring and the leaves change in the fall,
God allows a time for everything,
(yes, everything) in our lives.
the bitter cold of winter or the sweltering heat of summer isn't pleasant,
but it's necessary. it creates balance.

verse 11 is astounding:
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. 
also He has put eternity in their hearts, 
except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."

God finishes what He starts.
the process is guaranteed to be messy, awkward, and trying..
it's worth it.
time changes people and their dreams.
God's purposes and plans do not change.
I'm excited to see them out till the end 
and enjoy the surprises our loving, sovereign Creator will
(undoubtably) pull out of His sleeve.

difference.

I'm trying to sort out the difference between thinking and doing.

wondering if the words I say and the things I do line up at all.
the difference between the idea and the putting into practice.
what is it?



what difference does it make if I'm a Christian on Facebook,
but not in daily doings?
I'm not claiming that I'm a completely two-faced,
hypocritical liar with no spirituality outside of the Internet.
feel free to think that if you'd like, but that's not the point.



on a long-winded side-note, I've finally come to a place where I literally do not care about what people think about me.
every once in a while, my pride will show up and I do think about how a certain situation or something else looks to other people.
yes, I do care about how people view Christ through me.
yes, I do care about people wanting to correct me out of a loving heart.
but who am I serving?
in no way am I the epitome of a servant, no.
but I'm trying, and learning.

anyway.

the world does not need another Facebook Christian.
or another Christian hiding behind a blog.


what the world does need is a group of real people,
who are different.
they reach out, they help, they spread goodness,
they are truly Christ's followers.
no, they are not popular.
but they are known for who they are. for who Christ is.
He is always the difference.


that's the person I want to be. that's the difference.

today. 9.9.12.

if someone were to ask me what I want to do with my life,
I'm sure they would end up listening to me ramble for hours.

but behind all my ideas and ambitions, most of them changing daily, what do I really want to do with my life?
the only one I have?


I don't know. and if I'm being honest, that drives me to insanity. not knowing. any friend of mine can confirm that on my list of personality flaws, my ridiculous need for knowledge is up there. way up there. sometimes it's a positive thing,
sometimes it only causes grief.


but...

I'm learning that I'm not supposed to know right now.

it's not about having my best life now.
nor is it about understanding every step.
it's about finding life and purpose in between steps.
it's about learning and growing and finding and not finding and searching and seeking and blissfully not knowing what's next.

and sometimes, rambling.




uninformed and happy about it,
   Baylee.

today. 8.31.12.

rain makes me think. something about it is so peaceful and cleansing and I could watch it pour all day long.


it invites me to pause to reflect, to consider, and ultimately just to rest.


just like the storms from Hurricane Isaac have moved over my dry, thirsty little village of a town, sometimes spiritual storms are a really good thing. especially when you're in a drought.


how have those storms shaped me? I remember some of the bigger ones. hurricanes, you could call them. death, temptation, discontent, lack of faith, bad family situations, moving from my home.

then there were the small, and in retrospect, blown-out-of-proportion ones. brief showers. still, they brought me to where I am.


oh, how I hope it keeps raining.




drenched and thankful,
Baylee.