winter.

today has been anticipated by many as the apocalypse. (dun duh duhhh.)
and since that didn't happen (yet),
I'm relishing the fact that it's now winter.
personally it's my favorite season,
except for the dreadful sniffles & such that usually come with it. *coughs*

I love waking up to shiny white light in the morning,
although unfortunately since my older siblings are grown,
I'm not involved in as many snowball fights as I'd like to be. :)




to me, winter is a time of rest and reflection and renewing.
spring will come with new life in a few short months,
but as my favorite band states in this lovely song:

"every seed dies before it grows." 

sometimes I need a break.
on the outside I may be fine, but eventually I need some time alone or else..
it's just not good.

once again I'm amazed at the seasons that our Father established
not only in nature, but in hearts and lives and emotions.
He placed balance and order where it was necessary and made it beautiful, too.
even though the cold wind and deep snow eventually gets tiresome,
it's beautiful.

the new year is coming, and I'm excited for it.
may all your resolutions fail and instead,
be reminded of the new life that comes after the winter.

'tis the season.

whoa.
so I just had a strange realization that not only:
1) I have a blog.
2) I haven't updated it in a month or more.
3) life can go from mildly busy
{as in every once in a while},
to crazy busy
{as in forgetting what day it is}
in the blink of an eye!


so here I am, procrastinating again.
my birthday is tomorrow and
I'm hardly believing it.
December has been an insane month already,
and I know it will continue!
so much I'm learning lately that I will share,
in due time.

to whoever is reading, thank you &
merry christmas!

-Baylee

just a little behind on my pictures.. decided to take my camera out tonight and capture some autumn before it all disappears.

happy tuesday night!

tomorrow.

thinking about the future gets me really excited.

knowing that every moment, every event.. is not out of God's control.
His hands are holding the world together, still, as they always have.
His intentions have not changed, nor will they ever.


yet, it is so easy, and almost automatic,
for me to worry in spite of knowing those truths.
as if worrying will change something.
all it does is take away from today and limit tomorrow. and I know this.


I also tend to count my chickens before they hatch.
and they usually don't end up hatching at all. or they're not even chickens.

how much more could we make of today.

if every minute we thought about how tomorrow isn't ours.
no, but today is. and that's exciting.

"but as it is written: 'eye has not seen, nor ear heard, 

nor have entered into the heart of man the things which 

God has prepared for those who love Him.'"

-1 corinthians 2:9

{three this week} 10/22 - 10/29

happy monday, everyone! 

light, in and of itself, is just an amazing thing.

black & white from 9.20.11.

sequiota park in springfield, mo.

{new feature}

even though I've posted pictures in the past,

I thought I'd introduce a once-a-weekish feature to my blog.. 

3 pictures that best sum up my week. sounds good? alright.

here's to faithfully sharing a few moments that caught my eye.

there's a song in the air!

from a harvest party on the 20th, hosted by my adoptive family. isn't laughter the best thing ever?

autumn is just so wonderful. it's inspired me to do some writing, lately.

and there you have it!

it sets you free.

truth is relative. 

no, no it's not. is it?
it comes in different forms though.. wait, no it doesn't.
truth is truth. wait, what's truth in the first place?


do you ever have conversations like that in your head?
because that's one I had in mine today.
I have this thing about not talking when I don't know if I should..
well, not right now.



isn't truth what we're all looking for, whether or not we recognize/admit it?
some kind of black and white lines.
security that something in this ever-changing life won't change.
something that tells us that there's wrong and right,  
justice and a reason for injustice.



a quote from fellow human, Jon Foreman, says a lot:

the "truth" of loving those around me, the "truth" of seeking justice for the oppressed, the "truth" of a life of service -- these are truths to be possessed by: to be a slave in the service of the kingdom of the heavens, to be the servant of all. if the truths in this life have no owner then we are set free: free from the need to defend the truth, free to be possessed by this truth and simply live it out. truth becomes much too large for me to possess; truth is the beauty and authenticity which possesses me.

what I see from that is that truth is just too big for us.
the Truth Himself is the thing/person/spirit that possesses us. 
His thoughts are higher than ours.
His Word was given to us so that we could see this truth:
He is the black and white, He is justice, He is unchanging, and He is truth.


"then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, 
'if you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed.  
and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.'"

-John 8:31 & 32

extraordinary.

what comes to mind when you hear the word "mundane"?

 

I think of boredom, everyday, run-of-the-mill.


"I feel so mundane with everything,"
said a wonderful friend of mine a few days ago.
I agreed that I'm in the same place.



well, should you type that lovely little word into google, the first definition is this:

1. lacking interest or excitement; dull.

• "seeking a way out of his mundane, humdrum existence."

we've all been there before, right?
the day to day living, nothing extraordinary or life-changing. routine.


and then the second definition got the wheels in my head turning.

2. of this earthly world rather than a heavenly or spiritual one.

• "the boundaries of the mundane world."

whoa.


I still don't know exactly what to think about that.

of all the wonders and beauty here on the planet, it's still mundane.
all the people and things and places, but it has boundaries.
such rich history and information and new technology, and it's mundane.

what does the Earth have to offer? why are we here?

here's a paragraph from John Piper's recent sermon,  
"Why Did God Create the World?"

"The Bible is crystal clear about this: “The heavens declare the glory of God” (Psalm 19:1). If someone asks, “If earth is the only inhabited planet and man the only rational inhabitant among the stars, why such a large and empty universe?" The answer is: It’s not about us. It’s about God. And that's an understatement. God created us to know him and love him and show him. And then he gave us a hint of what he is like  — the universe."

if you think about that..
our mundane things on Earth are here to give God glory,
the very end of our existence.


and then, everything becomes not so.. ordinary.


"if then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, 
where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.  
set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.  
for you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  
when Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him 
in glory." 
-colossians 3:1-4.

sufficient.

grace is such a big topic lately amongst "church people", 

and for good reason.

 

nothing I could add to the discussion would be worth much, but let me say this:


you have no understanding or grasp of grace until it is all you have.


until it is the only thing keeping you afloat in an ocean of sin that threatens to swallow you whole, unapologetic in its tossing and crashing and sinking.


people mess up, they makes mistakes they regret.
we all have heard it before, yada yada yada.
but when the rubber meets the road..

mistakes ruin lives. they ruin families, marriages, relationships.
they are real and sin is real and there are consequences that are not pleasant or wanted.

you know what there's more of?

grace.

the kind that not only keeps you afloat, it's a kind that throws the life preserver into the waves when you've fallen off the boat, and pulls you back onto it.

it saves and it's undeserving and so deep.
what's the most amazing thing about grace?

its Giver.


"and He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, 
for  My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 
therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, 
that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 

2 corinthians verse 9.

"timing is everything."

one word that I have a continued love/hate relationship with: time. 

there's so many quotes, clichés, and metaphors about how quickly 
it passes or how it heals all wounds.

the third chapter of Ecclesiastes reminds me that
"for everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." (v.1)

just like the flowers bloom in the spring and the leaves change in the fall,
God allows a time for everything,
(yes, everything) in our lives.
the bitter cold of winter or the sweltering heat of summer isn't pleasant,
but it's necessary. it creates balance.

verse 11 is astounding:
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. 
also He has put eternity in their hearts, 
except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."

God finishes what He starts.
the process is guaranteed to be messy, awkward, and trying..
it's worth it.
time changes people and their dreams.
God's purposes and plans do not change.
I'm excited to see them out till the end 
and enjoy the surprises our loving, sovereign Creator will
(undoubtably) pull out of His sleeve.

difference.

I'm trying to sort out the difference between thinking and doing.

wondering if the words I say and the things I do line up at all.
the difference between the idea and the putting into practice.
what is it?



what difference does it make if I'm a Christian on Facebook,
but not in daily doings?
I'm not claiming that I'm a completely two-faced,
hypocritical liar with no spirituality outside of the Internet.
feel free to think that if you'd like, but that's not the point.



on a long-winded side-note, I've finally come to a place where I literally do not care about what people think about me.
every once in a while, my pride will show up and I do think about how a certain situation or something else looks to other people.
yes, I do care about how people view Christ through me.
yes, I do care about people wanting to correct me out of a loving heart.
but who am I serving?
in no way am I the epitome of a servant, no.
but I'm trying, and learning.

anyway.

the world does not need another Facebook Christian.
or another Christian hiding behind a blog.


what the world does need is a group of real people,
who are different.
they reach out, they help, they spread goodness,
they are truly Christ's followers.
no, they are not popular.
but they are known for who they are. for who Christ is.
He is always the difference.


that's the person I want to be. that's the difference.

today. 9.9.12.

if someone were to ask me what I want to do with my life,
I'm sure they would end up listening to me ramble for hours.

but behind all my ideas and ambitions, most of them changing daily, what do I really want to do with my life?
the only one I have?


I don't know. and if I'm being honest, that drives me to insanity. not knowing. any friend of mine can confirm that on my list of personality flaws, my ridiculous need for knowledge is up there. way up there. sometimes it's a positive thing,
sometimes it only causes grief.


but...

I'm learning that I'm not supposed to know right now.

it's not about having my best life now.
nor is it about understanding every step.
it's about finding life and purpose in between steps.
it's about learning and growing and finding and not finding and searching and seeking and blissfully not knowing what's next.

and sometimes, rambling.




uninformed and happy about it,
   Baylee.

today. 8.31.12.

rain makes me think. something about it is so peaceful and cleansing and I could watch it pour all day long.


it invites me to pause to reflect, to consider, and ultimately just to rest.


just like the storms from Hurricane Isaac have moved over my dry, thirsty little village of a town, sometimes spiritual storms are a really good thing. especially when you're in a drought.


how have those storms shaped me? I remember some of the bigger ones. hurricanes, you could call them. death, temptation, discontent, lack of faith, bad family situations, moving from my home.

then there were the small, and in retrospect, blown-out-of-proportion ones. brief showers. still, they brought me to where I am.


oh, how I hope it keeps raining.




drenched and thankful,
Baylee.

today. 8.29.12.

my family members will rebuke, patronize, and laugh at me for saying this.


I love nature.


yes, me. a self-proclaimed hermit.


for about a month now, I have taken a walk on the dead-end street behind my house around twilight nearly every day. it is truly incredible, how much it has changed me.

the tree line, half sun & half shadow. two rabbits scurrying across my path. puffy clouds and a crystal sky.
(tell me.. just HOW is the sky that blue?)


it's truly an aesthetic experience.


stop and take it in. breathe slowly, think hard, and think about this life we're living.

oh, and don't stop to take a panoramic picture. unless you want weird looks from the neighbors who just so happen to be standing on their back porch, probably wondering what that twirling idiot is doing in the middle of the street.


awkwardly,
Baylee.

I know nothing about blogging. At all.

but, after countless statements such as..

"hey, that would be a great name for a blog."

"why don't you have a blog?"

"you need a blog."

I took a hint.

Behind the name..

a few weeks back, a conversation with a friend turned into daydreaming about possible names for our non-existent children. we both agreed names should have meaning.
so then I wondered.. what does my name mean?

Bailiff. 

how. exciting.

for lack of a better excuse, I did some searching to see if it had any other possible meaning.
in short, "Bailey" as an English surname also means bailiff,
but with an added definition "to deliver."

my middle name Ann, means grace.

put them together, and you have "to deliver grace."



life mission found? maybe.
good name for a blog? I'd like to think so.

What will I write about?

I'm not really sure. maybe random musings, rantings, stories.
my concern isn't who or how many reads it, but that maybe those who do will come away with a different perspective.
or something like that..



until next time,
 Baylee.