pointing fingers and finding praise

i make judgements.

i see others sin and wonder why they seemingly choose to live in it.

why is it okay to see (and more often than not, point out) a specific flaw in another person and completely ignore it when it's present in my own heart?



i think of having my own family one day.
raising my children, instilling in them the love of God's Word and obedience to His commandments.
those kids are going to make mistakes in their lives which i will have no control over.
but it breaks my heart even now to think of the grip sin could have in their life,
and the choices they will make regardless of what i teach them,
regardless of the love i show them. they will decide to sin at some point.

then, the truth glared at me.

that must be exactly how the Lord feels about us.

how much it must anguish Him, to see us choose less than His perfect plan.
He knows the very best and we still do the things He despises, the sins He absolutely hates.
psalm 51 even says that it is against Him and Him alone that we sin.

how dare i use the shortcomings of other people, other brothers and sisters in Christ,
to lessen the wretchedness of my own sin.

the ugly, horrible reality is that every day i can and do decide to tear people down in a futile attempt to climb the ladder of self-righteousness. there's nothing more to say about it, because that's all it is.
i should be building them up, speaking encouragement, praying for them.
that's what i want others to do for me, right?

these thoughts would be overwhelming, and condemning,
if not for a risen Savior,
a Holy Spirit that convicts and comforts,
and a Heavenly Father who draws His children back to Himself.
that is the glorious truth that i cling to.


-b

it sets you free.

truth is relative. 

no, no it's not. is it?
it comes in different forms though.. wait, no it doesn't.
truth is truth. wait, what's truth in the first place?


do you ever have conversations like that in your head?
because that's one I had in mine today.
I have this thing about not talking when I don't know if I should..
well, not right now.



isn't truth what we're all looking for, whether or not we recognize/admit it?
some kind of black and white lines.
security that something in this ever-changing life won't change.
something that tells us that there's wrong and right,  
justice and a reason for injustice.



a quote from fellow human, Jon Foreman, says a lot:

the "truth" of loving those around me, the "truth" of seeking justice for the oppressed, the "truth" of a life of service -- these are truths to be possessed by: to be a slave in the service of the kingdom of the heavens, to be the servant of all. if the truths in this life have no owner then we are set free: free from the need to defend the truth, free to be possessed by this truth and simply live it out. truth becomes much too large for me to possess; truth is the beauty and authenticity which possesses me.

what I see from that is that truth is just too big for us.
the Truth Himself is the thing/person/spirit that possesses us. 
His thoughts are higher than ours.
His Word was given to us so that we could see this truth:
He is the black and white, He is justice, He is unchanging, and He is truth.


"then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, 
'if you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed.  
and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.'"

-John 8:31 & 32

sufficient.

grace is such a big topic lately amongst "church people", 

and for good reason.

 

nothing I could add to the discussion would be worth much, but let me say this:


you have no understanding or grasp of grace until it is all you have.


until it is the only thing keeping you afloat in an ocean of sin that threatens to swallow you whole, unapologetic in its tossing and crashing and sinking.


people mess up, they makes mistakes they regret.
we all have heard it before, yada yada yada.
but when the rubber meets the road..

mistakes ruin lives. they ruin families, marriages, relationships.
they are real and sin is real and there are consequences that are not pleasant or wanted.

you know what there's more of?

grace.

the kind that not only keeps you afloat, it's a kind that throws the life preserver into the waves when you've fallen off the boat, and pulls you back onto it.

it saves and it's undeserving and so deep.
what's the most amazing thing about grace?

its Giver.


"and He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, 
for  My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 
therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, 
that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 

2 corinthians verse 9.

"timing is everything."

one word that I have a continued love/hate relationship with: time. 

there's so many quotes, clichés, and metaphors about how quickly 
it passes or how it heals all wounds.

the third chapter of Ecclesiastes reminds me that
"for everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." (v.1)

just like the flowers bloom in the spring and the leaves change in the fall,
God allows a time for everything,
(yes, everything) in our lives.
the bitter cold of winter or the sweltering heat of summer isn't pleasant,
but it's necessary. it creates balance.

verse 11 is astounding:
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. 
also He has put eternity in their hearts, 
except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."

God finishes what He starts.
the process is guaranteed to be messy, awkward, and trying..
it's worth it.
time changes people and their dreams.
God's purposes and plans do not change.
I'm excited to see them out till the end 
and enjoy the surprises our loving, sovereign Creator will
(undoubtably) pull out of His sleeve.

difference.

I'm trying to sort out the difference between thinking and doing.

wondering if the words I say and the things I do line up at all.
the difference between the idea and the putting into practice.
what is it?



what difference does it make if I'm a Christian on Facebook,
but not in daily doings?
I'm not claiming that I'm a completely two-faced,
hypocritical liar with no spirituality outside of the Internet.
feel free to think that if you'd like, but that's not the point.



on a long-winded side-note, I've finally come to a place where I literally do not care about what people think about me.
every once in a while, my pride will show up and I do think about how a certain situation or something else looks to other people.
yes, I do care about how people view Christ through me.
yes, I do care about people wanting to correct me out of a loving heart.
but who am I serving?
in no way am I the epitome of a servant, no.
but I'm trying, and learning.

anyway.

the world does not need another Facebook Christian.
or another Christian hiding behind a blog.


what the world does need is a group of real people,
who are different.
they reach out, they help, they spread goodness,
they are truly Christ's followers.
no, they are not popular.
but they are known for who they are. for who Christ is.
He is always the difference.


that's the person I want to be. that's the difference.